Earned It
I know I haven’t posted in a while 🙃 but I’ll address that in the next post. This is a faith post rather than a fear post. This week I have been trying to have a healthier prayer life, and when I want to pray (especially if it has been a while) I go back to basics. Basics for me is the Lord’s prayer - probably the most well known bit of the bible found in Matthew 6. I learnt it as follows:
Our father which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from all evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever Amen.
Although beautifully written and wonderfully simple, saying this prayer has always made me a little uncomfortable - for two reasons:
Being British, its a bit rude. ‘give me’ is reserved for children under the age of 3 who know no better. Where is the please?
Jesus told us to ask for things, before setting the record straight. It feels even more rude to say ‘please give me xyz’ when you have unsettled beef with a person. Imagine I punched you in the face yesterday, and then today I come and say - ‘hey you are great, give me some food?’ - if someone did that to me I would assume they were mad.
Following a thought-provoking conversation with my friend, I was left pondering on guilt and particularly where it shows up in my spiritual life. I know God is always intentional with His words so the wording of this prayer is significant, but has residual guilty feelings sometimes when I pray it. After some deliberation and reflection, I think God wants us to know that our sins, our inadequacies, our stupid behaviour etc. has zero impact on His love and His kindness. He still wants to hear ‘our daily bread’ aka what we need- and although setting the record straight and asking for forgiveness is essential - it doesn’t come first in this prayer.
The forgiveness of our sins and our righteousness through Jesus’ sacrifice isn’t what entitles us to God’s love. We cannot earn it. We cannot work for it. It is impossible. The order of this prayer reminds us that our strength, the guidance, gifts and sustenance we get from God is not in our power as individuals. We can’t be perfect enough, and in me it helps prevent self-righteousness and pride. It stops me from slipping into thinking my actions could ever entitle me to anything.
So despite it making me outlandishly uncomfortable to ask God for my needs before confessing and asking Jesus to erase my sins - I pray like this. It is a humbling reminder of how great God’s love is, and how blessed and grateful I am to serve a God who isn’t relying on me. Cause if this blog track record alone is anything to go by - I am an unreliable babe.
You can’t earn it, and I hope that this post is a reminder to you of who God is. May it feel like liberation and immense love.
See you in the next post… which should come before Rihanna’s next album.