Starting…. Again
When you have failed, starting something similar again, from the beginning, can be really difficult. It is so easy to just live in the past - idolising or constantly comparing the new journey with the old one. Particularly if the old journey was going well, the brain tends to involuntarily compare where you are now with where you were before.
In November I moved into an unfurnished place from a furnished one with my brother and his friends - and all of my routines (which were building nicely pre-move) shattered. The first thing to go was exercise. HUGE problem as if I don’t exercise, I don’t sleep*. Then the morning meditation and journalling jumped ship, quickly followed by my devotion and pretty soon I was in a winter S.A.D spiral begging God to help me. Then I got COVID. Again.
In the middle of a dramatic tearful prayer, God gave me a quick glimpse of myself - and I saw this gif (but with my face).
It was pretty funny.
Then I plainly heard God say ‘just go back to basics love’. I realised I simply needed to try looking after myself a bit better, before assessing whether life was worth living/how long before the world ends. So I tried to get back into things… and failed. Lots. Until now, where I am not failing so much.
Somehow, I think failing less qualifies me to write about this (haha) but I’m sharing some things I’ve learned anyway. Hopefully they will be somewhat helpful if you relate to any of this and hate hearing from perfect people who take intentional ice cold showers every day**.
I think these points are applicable to many ‘starting again’ situations, new city, new home, new exercise routine, trying to be healthier for the umpteenth time, new relationship, new job… I dunno, see what sticks for you.
🔵 Let Go
Hard truth incoming - what you used to have isn’t coming back. Genuinely, I am sorry. Make peace with that, thank it for being what it was, learn from the good and the bad, congratulate yourself for being involved in something despite it ending, then let go and start to dream differently. Get creative with your thinking, talk to a friend if it helps. Have a session where you dream freely about outlandish amazing wonderful things - a magic fridge that has all the fresh ingredients you think of, shoes that morph into whatever shoe you need that day***. Once you have done that return to the “again/new” thing and dream creatively and freely- have fun with what it could become.
🔵 Banish the barriers
Whatever it is you need to do, reduce the steps needed to get to that thing. I paid for a month of my nearest PureGym (7 min drive away) and I went twice and that was me trying to go every day. My brother said ‘Why don’t you workout on the balcony?’ So I did, twice - it is cold at 6am. Then I realised I could workout from my room, and on really bad days I open the nike training app from my bed and press start. I can do the warm up stretches on my bed in my PJs, pause it and change after the warm up. If you can eliminate the things between you and your goal, do it.
🔵 Accountability isn’t much without risk
You just have to take risks somewhere, somehow. I promised 3 friends £20 each in the 5th week of January, before payday if I failed to complete 5 days of deep work. You can be sure I completed the work. Some people pay the money first then get it back on completion, but I know if it has already gone I will say ‘see you can live without it, we don’t have to do this’. Obviously this won’t work for everyone, but try finding something that adds risk to your actions.
🔵 Help yourself
I started using an app called Fabulous which is designed to help you create healthy habits. I broke my lifelong “only free apps” rule, because I just needed to get back on the wagon - and I am thrilled to say that it really works. I have done my morning routine 24/28 days so far. Follow this link to try it free for 30 days: https://thefab.co/McAAQHqSMI (there are only 5 so first come first served)
Anyway, this is my Happy New Year post so HAPPY NEW YEARRR!!!! 🥳💃🍾🥂🎈🎉 🎊 (I’m choosing Chinese New Year, I had COVID on 1st jan so that one doesn’t count). I hope you and your resolutions/goals are blossoming.
Thanks for reading, I hope it helped 🤍🤍🤍
*At some point this may be another post
**Yes I mean Tony Robbins, yes I am jealous, yes I am working on it. No shade if you take cold showers everyday. One day I will be that annoying person IJN.
***is it obvious my priorities are food and shoes?